On 22 June 2004, Nandagopal Mali left home as usual for his workshop where he was casting a bronze statue as per the client’s order, except he never returned. He hasn’t since that day. His young daughter Nagma, who was eight at the time, kept waiting for her dad. Seventeen years later, she is still waiting.
Having already lost her mother three years ago while giving birth to her younger sister, Nagma could never accept that her father was gone and with no official proof of his demise, held on to the hope that he would come back one day.
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Soon after Nandagopal went missing, Nagma’s grandfather Sanu Mali took charge of searching for his son but he passed away soon after. It was then Nagma’s grandmother who stepped up, from relentlessly questioning army officials who had abducted Nandagopal to holding protests every day in Maitighar.
One day, after returning from her daily protests, Nagma’s grandmother told her about two children who were also similarly protesting for the search of their missing parents. Nagma, who until then was a quiet girl whose first instinct was to hide when someone visited her home, decided to join her grandmother in her protests from that day onwards.
“It was my grandmother who made me the strong, independent person that I am today, fighting for justice,” says Nagma. “She also involved me in all important decision making, installing in me self-confidence.”
She followed her grandmother to the Commission of Investigation on Enforced Disappeared Persons and participated in every program advocating justice for crimes committed during the Maoist War. There she met others like her with missing parents but had not given up the search.
By then Nagma had completed her secondary education and was deliberating on her next move. One day, Nagma’s grandmother was stopped at the Chauni army barrack and was restricted from entering despite many pleas. This was when Nagma realised that you either had to be someone with influence or a journalist to be allowed in.
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Nagma immediately enrolled at Ratna Rajya Campus for a degree in journalism where she studied hard with hopes of raising her voice and communicating to the masses about her father’s disappearance, eventually aiding in his search.
But before long her only remaining support, her grandmother, passed away leaving her in charge of raising younger sister Swastika. But Nagma persisted and became a voice of her own, and all alone, she kept looking for her father.
She tried to visit top-ranking officials, joined the ‘Martyrs and Disappeared Warrior Children’ foundation and submitted a memorandum to the government for the whereabouts of her missing father. But as her questions went unanswered and the state failed to investigate the case, her faith in the Disparaged Persons Committee started to erode.
She then turned to the Central Bureau of Investigation and worked day and night for the Civil Service Commission exam with the hopes of joining the police force and finding Nandagopal herself. But as the sole earner of the family paying for both her and Swastika’s studies, she wasn’t able to keep up and didn’t sit for the paper.
“Over the years I have often questioned myself if he was still alive. More than 15 years have passed, it hasn’t been easy, it has been a painful wait,” says Nagma, who strengthened her resolve once again and demanded that the government disclose information on the disappeared persons regardless of their state.
After the peace talks in 2006, the Maoists became part of the government. The country transitioned from the war to stability but the families of the disappeared continued to wait in misery. None of the agencies set up to investigate war crimes are working on the whereabouts of nearly 1,500 still missing.
“If we don’t fight, the disappeared will also be forgotten,” adds Nagma, who is now with the organisation Voice of Women and is also affiliated with the Women National Network. “The truth is missing just like those who were made to disappear.”
Read also: The disappeared and disquiet of those left behind, Robert Godden
What worries Nagma most is the fate of children affected by the disappearances during the conflict and says the Maoist-led government has treated them unfairly. Children of those declared martyrs get free of cost education up to any level but for the children of the disappeared, it stops at 18 years of age.
“Pushpa Kamal Dahal looked after only his people after his purpose was served. What about us, the children of the disappeared? When will the consequences of your action be addressed?” Nagma questions the top Maoist leadership.
How long should one wait for the disappeared person to come back? A month? A year? A decade? For Nagma, the answer is as long as she lives. She says: “As long as there is a hope of my father’s return, my search will continue. I won’t ever give up.”
Adapted from the Nepali original in himalkhabar.com
Read more:
Disappearance of Justice, Sabrina Dangol
The scars of War, Sahina Shrestha
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